TaxesI get several forwards every day in my inbox. A ‘forward’ is of course one of those emails which has been sent to thousands of other people before you, and whose central purpose is to get you to pass it along to everyone on your own email list. They exist merely to multiply, and a variety of incentives are employed to further that goal: tugging at heartstrings, being extremely amusing, providing life or death information, amazing the recipient, provoking outrage. In this they work very well indeed, hence their popularity. This morning alone I received three of the comedy variety – a joke about Hillary Clinton, a video featuring a comedy sketch involving a phonecall to the dentist, and some “Real newspaper ads” – and one of the desire to provoke outrage. It’s the latter I’d like to refer to here.

I’d seen it before, but this morning perhaps it caught me in the right mood: this email lamented taxes. Emails like this are not passed around in the United Kingdom. The British don’t get outraged about taxes anymore – it’s considered inevitable that the government will tax to its own ends and that there isn’t anything the average citizen can do to change it. This feeling of powerlessness actually leads to a complete resignation of political will or opinion; a British friend of mine actually told me once that “the government’s job is to run the country so, just leave them to it.” Despite my hate of forwards, I’m grateful that emails like this still get shared in the United States:

The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let’s take a look at New Orleans It’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A) Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

B) Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787.

C) Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D.C. Hello! … Are all your calculators broken??

Tax his land,
Tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirts,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his booze,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
Tax his tears.

Tax his bills,
Tax his gas,
Tax his notes,
Tax his cash.

Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers,
Tax him more,
Tax him until he’s good and sore.

Tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
‘Taxes drove me to my doom!’

And when he’s gone,
We won’t relax,
We’ll still be after the inheritance TAX!!

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Perm it Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephon e State and Local Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.


Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had no national debt, yet had the largest middle class in the world. What happened? Can you spell ‘politicians?’

What the heck happened?