This economy really has me thinking about my assets and whether I actually have anything to sell that people would like to buy. My two real estate properties are worthless, as are my SUVs which nobody wants either. I can write (which I’m beginning to do more for some online publications) and I can talk. And I can grow hair. I tell you this: my hair is the fastest- and thickest-growing hair this side of Crawford, Texas. It’s basically a production factory with no extra overhead (pun?), and it is portable, and it’s easy to harvest the product. It’s got to be worth something, right? So here’s my proposal: I’ll sell my hair, by-the-lock, direct to the buyer on a new website, www.buyjohnshairdirect.com, or I’ll license my hair in an ongoing contract to some revolting company on the condition that it’s chopped from my head before it’s utilized for… whatever they want to do with it. Don’t they need to make wigs out of real hair? And don’t they need real hair to give people extensions and hair transplants? Although the thought of my hair coming out of someone else’s head is disconcerting, the hundreds of thousands of dollars per year I’m likely to gain from the contracts will make up for it. So. Anybody want to buy my hair?
